Is this for me or you?

I debated posting this on Twitter or not, and in the end decided not to. This piece seriously pisses me off so much, but I felt like I needed to post it because I need to express the state of me right now, and I don’t know how. I want to make good art, and I do not know how. It feels like every time I want to pull out my emotions or feelings from my head, it’s like trying to rip my limbs off, or like I’m trying to push a baby out of my mind. It’s agonizingly painful. I don’t know how to splatter my brain on a canvas. Is it because I’m scared of my art being perceived, ME being perceived? Do I just hate myself?

I suppose so. I suppose it’s all of those things.