Frustrated about my fence-sitting and contradictory stances

June 24, 2023

I feel like I’ve talked about this before, but regardless it still frustrates me a lot.

An issue that I seem to be having is that I can’t really formulate my own opinions of a lot of important topics, and I tend to just go with what everyone says without really thinking for myself, or I tend to fence-sit on a matter as to not create conflict or anything like that, since I’ve always hated creating conflict and that sort of thing. But it feels frustrating to me because I feel like when I talk to people nowadays about a matter, I just initially think one way about something and then flip it immediately with a switch when someone points out some fault with that argument and pretend that I never thought that way. I don’t have a strong sense of opinion on everything, I just absorb at face value and use the opinions of others to create this facade of an opinion, when in reality, I have no clue what I’m talking about.

The worst part? I don’t know how to fix it! I really, really don’t. You could say just try harder and sit down and think, but I just can’t do that in the moment, I don’t know. I’m just kind of ranting at this point, I really don’t know if this is cohesive at all or not, since trying to explain exactly how I feel is so difficult. I’m just frustrated about being so in-the-middle or sometimes, just plain contradictory. And I know that everyone contradicts themselves, no one has perfectly set logic, but it really really frustrates me when I talk to someone and try to say something one day, and then completely change it the next day just to be “in the right” or whatever, because nowadays, I feel that, whether you like it or not, a lot of times, there is no such thing as an opinion, and there is always a right answer. And if you aren’t in the right… yeah. I’m not really talking about major major issues and subjects, just minor things, but still.