I really wanna become less insecure, but, like my last post I made today, I’m not really sure how to do it. When I went to Goodwill today, I literally sat on my phone and Googled “how to be less insecure” and “how to not let others influence you” and that kind of stuff. I feel that I am too influenced by other people in the sense that I just let others do what they want with me rather than what I want, because I hate confrontation and conflict. I’m just so scared of it that I let others influence me to a terrible point. For example, when I’m at work and I see someone doing something, like kids pulling off fire extinguishers, or a thief stealing something, I don’t say anything. I tell my manager about it and he’ll do something, but I feel so pathetic not being able to stand up for myself and just say something. And it’s probably why I feel like I’m too nice to people as well. I remember I got some texts from someone in the Marines (probably got my number from the school) and wanted to recruit me or some bullshit like that, and I went along with it for a bit because I felt bad about just blocking his number (I eventually did, but it still took me a bit).
The thing is I just don’t know how to fix that. Do I just… go out and yell at people? How do I boost my confidence in myself? Like… what am I supposed to do? It’s such an irritating issue because I’m not sure how to fix it. I hope someday to figure out the secret to it.