Life in limbo

October 13, 2023

Hello, reader. :)

I hope you are doing alright. I’m sort of not, and I wanted to talk about it. It’s nothing serious, but it’s just a few things that have been bothering me in my life lately, so I wanted to write about them to externalize my feelings about it. I don’t like always writing these negative posts about how I feel and whatever because I feel bad for being such a downer so often, but I feel like I need to get this out.

The stagnation of my life

I think one part of things that are contributing to my mood is that NOTHING is happening in my life right now. I still don’t have a job due to the fact that I can’t find a lot of jobs I want to work, (and no one really wants to hire me).

In transit

Then, there’s the whole fiasco with the PSVSD, which I’ve been looking forward to a lot, and as of writing, has approached day 29 in shipping. There’s that and my AliExpress parts for my NAS, which will also take a while, so I just have to sit and twiddle my thumbs everyday until the eventual day comes, which feels like FOREVER.

Social life

Third, and I feel like the most important part, is my social life. I haven’t really been talking to too many of my friends in-person, and only really dealing with people online. It’s not like I haven’t been at all, but not a lot either. Everyone is so busy and occupied with their own jobs or college, and some people live in different locations now. One of my best friends lives up an hour from here, and I went to visit them earlier this week, and going there sort of just made me feel more depressed as I realized that me seeing them, along with my other friends, is no longer going to be easy to do anymore.

And with me taking a gap year, I feel sort of… left behind? I have some friends that are taking gap years, but most of my friends aren’t, and I heard that this could happen, but I didn’t really think about it much until it hit me in the face now.

Conclusion

Yeah, that’s kinda it for the bad stuff. I think I just need to talk to more people, and go outside, get support from my friends and hang out with them more to make myself feel better. It’s not like this whole week was bad for me. When I went out with my friend earlier, we encountered an arcade where I got to play Pop’n Music for the first time.

…But yeah, that’s kinda the only great thing that happened to me this week. Thanks for reading though, writing this helped a bit.